Monday, May 17, 2010

I Have A Meltdown

I will probably never cure cancer, marry Jake Gyllenhaal, run in a marathon, or become the first person to type three hundred words a minute using only her tongue. But, dang-flabbit I sure as heck just got posted on Sparklife. When I first sent in my post, I immediately wished that I could un-send it so that I was not exposed to thousands of teenagers thinking I’m an idiot. Then two weeks later I got an email back from the Sparkitors saying that they loved it and they thought I was hilarious. I thought to myself, “Hmmm…I’m glad they liked it, but they never said they were going to post it. Crap, my favorite website thinks I’m a moron.” And that’s when I made my Will, because if Sparknotes hated me then there was no reason to continue living.

And then 8:30 rolled around.

I was procrastinating like I do every other Monday night and I start looking through the list of blogs to read. This was the little voice in my head’s monologue:
“Oooh, cafeteria expose…nice! What’s this next one? “How to Alienate People Like A Pro.” Sound’s cool. Wait a sec…I wrote a post with the same title! Someone stole my idea; that sucks! Oh well. ‘Ellielikespie’ is a lucky duck. Hold the phone! I’m Ellie! That’s MY Post! That’s My Post! That’s MY Post!”

After shaking, giggling, forgetting my password, and having an onset of profuse sweating, I finally went on and thanked everyone for their kind words. Usually when a Sparkler gets posted they take it so coolly and dignified, but I had a melt-down that could compete with the polar ice-caps. Therefore, my entire comment was written in caps and included a hastily written thank you to the editors. (Glad they didn’t see me re-type the words, “Thank You” seven times due to shaking hands.)

Boy if I could bake them cookies in thanks, I’d be elbow deep in flour and eggs right now. I know I didn’t accomplish world peace and still have my status as a nobody, but in Ellie-World, people are partying in the streets because I finally reached on of my goals.

I know this post is not particularly funny, insightful, or interesting and looks like it was written in three minutes, (it was five minutes…so there!) but it is just a reflection of one of my very happy moments as a blogger. Tomorrow I’ll go back to singing show tunes from “Chicago” alone in my garage. But for now, I’m a star.


By the way, you may be thinking to yourself, “Calm down dummy all you did was write in a post for Sparknotes, which they tweaked a bit anyways.”

To those people I say, “True. But when your biggest accomplishment in life was winning the perfect attendance award in second grade, you get excited over things like this.”

And if to that they say, “You’re still lame.”

Then to that I say, “That’s what she said.”


  1. No, Ellie, getting an article published on SparkLife should be one of your proudest moments even if you were a Nobel Prize winner. There are less than 500 contributor articles on the site (and some people have been published multiple twice, so that makes for a lot less people who got published) spanning from little over a year ago, so yes, that's a wonderful achievement. Congrats!

  2. Awwwww. Thank you thank you thank you! That's so nice of you! I knew Sparklers were the best people ever!