Friday, May 21, 2010

Life Lessons from a Kiwi

Are you ready to go on a journey so riveting, so mind-blowing, so fantastic, that your entire cranium might just shatter? Then you should go Youtube “A Very Potter Musical.” Until then, I give you some stuff to think about while the video loads.

I’m back again; and, as usual, about to make outrageous leaps of logic from stupid details about insignificant things. I love these Sparkler challenges so-stinking-much. After Sparkler Severalsilent challenged me to write a post about peanut butter, I extended the invitation to others. That’s when Dizzy_In_My_Head left me this jewel of a comment: “I would love a post about…KIWIS!!!”

You ask; I deliver. Feast your eyes on this Dizzy_In_My_Head:

Lessons from a Kiwifruit:

1.) Don’t judge a book by its cover. When I look at a display of delicious barrels of fruit in the store, nothing looks less appealing than a kiwi. It’s the Danny DeVito of the fruit Kingdom. But underneath that shell of dirty hairy-ness, lies the most delicious fruit my taste buds have ever encountered. So go up to that guy who is just a little quirky, or the girl with the Wiggles t-shirt, and say, “Hi.” You never know how awesome they may be.

2.) Not everything is as it seems. Believe it or not a kiwifruit is a berry (albeit a gigantic one). People just assume that it’s not because it doesn't seem like it would be one. So remember the kiwi when you hear a nasty rumor about someone. You don’t know everything about the situation and you never know what isn’t as it appears to be. Maybe Jenny doesn’t have an eating disorder; maybe she has a super fast metabolism and is self conscious about her knobby knees. Or perhaps I really am this thoughtful and not just pretending to be to write a challenge-article about fruit. (Or not)

3.) Good things come with hard work. Kiwis are notoriously difficult to pollinate. In fact, some farmers have to take the seeds and pollinate the flowers themselves. It’s crazy-hard to get just one of these lovely (hideous) fruits to exist. So let’s translate this into real life. You’re never going to get what you want in life by sitting on your butt cheeks and waiting for it to happen. You have to get up and work like a madman/madwomen to make it happen. If you want to be an astronaut, work like crazy to be the best in academics. If you want to travel the world, control your spending and save every penny you have. If you want to learn to play guitar using only your eyelashes, practice every single day.

4.) Brown, furry things rock. A kiwi is undeniably awesome. It’s a sphere of brown, hairy deliciousness. So the same rule must go for other things. Hamsters are brown, hairy and awesome. Erik Estrada as “Ponch” is brown, hairy and awesome. Know what else are brown, furry, and awesome? Werewolves.

So go to your local grocery store and pick an item to stare at. See what there is to learn from it.

BAM! Challenge Status: Mission Accomplished.



  1. And I thought it couldn't be done. Bravo, bravo. I'd like one written on the Pokemon Ditto, thanks!

  2. YAY!! Me loves kiwis and this post! =) That pic made me hungry though...*returns nomming on raspberries*

    Now, I would still like a post about Flying Monkeys...