Tuesday, June 1, 2010

How to be the Worst Blogger in the Western Hemisphere

1. Change your name to Ellie Everdeen.
2. Consistently put off writing your blog because your tired/busy/dumb.
3. Make sure you suffer from writers block at least twice a day.
4. Look back at number 2, and realized you spelled "you're" incorrectly.
5. Make a ridiculous list for a couple of people to read.
6. Go back to reading Wuthering Heights.
7. Apologize for wasting 39 seconds of your life that you will never get back again,
8. Promise that you will be back soon with more absurd blogs.
9. Take NyQuil for your cough.
10. Put back the extra two pills so we don't repeat last year's "drunk-dial" incident.
11. Realize you've wasted another 10 seconds.
12. Apologize again.
13. Lather, rinse, repeat.

-Elliephant.

P.S. If you have any embarrassing moments while under the influence of medicine, please let me know. I need to focus on someone else's humiliation instead of my own. Curse my razor sharp memory.

P.P.S What is the correct abbreviation for the next post-script?

P.P.P.S In case you were wondering, 4 1/2 NyQuil have the same effect as a few shots of tequila: an overwhelming urge to call people and tell the things they don't need to know.

P.P.P.P.S If you are upset that I have wasted so much of your time, just let me know and I will try to come up with an appropriate apology.

4 comments:

  1. I apologize for being a bad follower, and commenting on so few of your posts! So there, we're even. :D

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  2. Hmmm. I just read Wuthering Heights. Isn't it the strangest book? And I hope you feel better!

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  3. I'm pretty sure that it is P.P.S.

    And I don't think it was a waste of time since you made me laugh!

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  4. Your comments are all so nice! I was expecting comments more along the lines of, "Ellie, you're smelly, jump off a small cliff."

    I Love You Guys.

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